Here it is guys and gals....

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Parsley, Nov 23, 2020.

  1. 23 Nov 2020 at 1:55 PM #1
    Parsley

    Parsley

    Happy xmas
     
    Parsley, Nov 23, 2020
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  2. 23 Nov 2020 at 1:56 PM #2
    Parsley

    Parsley

    :muttley:
     
    Parsley, Nov 23, 2020
  3. 23 Nov 2020 at 1:59 PM #3
    LooneyLeon

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    Your 754 hours early, but Merry Christmas to you to.
     
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  4. 23 Nov 2020 at 2:17 PM #4
    BigAl

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    I've seen many around me with the decorations up already.

    I don't see the point tho... you'll be sick of them before the day is even in sight. :blink:
     
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  5. 23 Nov 2020 at 2:21 PM #5
    ScottB

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    I thought this was an early sneak peak of the advent calendar of tits and/or Ass

    Disappointed! Lol
     
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  6. 23 Nov 2020 at 2:30 PM #6
    Parsley

    Parsley

    Ahhh yes, the advent calendar. It's a bit early mate.
     
    Parsley, Nov 23, 2020
  7. 23 Nov 2020 at 2:34 PM #7
    M3 GFY

    M3 GFY Flexing a golden cincture

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    I'm expecting this at 12.01am on the 1 December.:D
     
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  8. 23 Nov 2020 at 2:54 PM #8
    ScottB

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    Never too early!
     
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  9. 23 Nov 2020 at 3:11 PM #9
    grdaniel

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    Bah humbug, ya prick! :muttley:
     
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  10. 23 Nov 2020 at 11:35 PM #10
    Snowdog

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  11. 24 Nov 2020 at 12:41 PM #11
    cossie1

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    Go **** yourself
     
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  12. 24 Nov 2020 at 12:58 PM #12
    Parsley

    Parsley

    Thats the spirit you utter bell end
     
    Parsley, Nov 24, 2020
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  13. 24 Nov 2020 at 2:52 PM #13
    LooneyLeon

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    What's going on everyone play nice, I'm holding up virtual yellow cards :shades:
     
  14. 24 Nov 2020 at 2:58 PM #14
    Parsley

    Parsley

    Who made you the internet police????

    Fkn melt:bh:



    :muttley:
     
    Parsley, Nov 24, 2020
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  15. 24 Nov 2020 at 3:07 PM #15
    M3 GFY

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    We are both on Yellows already.:(:D
     
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  16. 24 Nov 2020 at 3:09 PM #16
    Jacko 11

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    Knob :muttley:
     
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  17. 24 Nov 2020 at 3:12 PM #17
    cossie1

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    :muttley::muttley::muttley:
     
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  18. 24 Nov 2020 at 6:59 PM #18
    Derekh929

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    Here is a guide to keep you sorted for CHRISTMAS Dinner;)

    Here's my top tip Christmas Dinner.... I have concluded that the inevitable stress of Christmas dinner is created by adverts, supermarkets and TV chefs... It's a Sunday dinner for goodness sake!!! We do it quite happily 51 weeks of the year but can we the consumers be trusted to manage by ourselves on one day of the year...apparently not! Here goes...
    1. Turkey... It's a big fecking chicken that's all, 20 minutes per lb plus 20 minutes at 180 degrees - jobs a good un! Get yourselves a meat thermometer £3 off the Internet poke it in the offending bird if it says 75 degrees or over its cooked!
    2. Stuffing - regardless of what Jamie Oliver says you do NOT need 2lbs of shoulder of pork, onions breadcrumbs,pine nuts and a **** load of fresh herbs to make stuffing....( no fecking wonder he's bankrupt if thats what he spends to make stuffing!) What you need is Paxo and a kettle!! If you wanna liven it up squeeze 3 sausages out of their skins and mix that in with your Paxo before cooking .
    3. Gravy - Jamie Oliver is copping for this one aswell.... Bisto Jamie.... All you need is Bisto! I ( nor any other woman I know) has got time on Christmas Eve to **** about roasting chicken wings and vegetables, adding stock and flour,cooking it for another half hour, mashing it all up with a potato masher and then straining the whole sorry mess to make gravy
    4. Vegetables... Never mind faffing round shredding sprouts and frying them with bacon and chestnuts to make them more palatable... If you don't like them don't buy and cook the fecking things!! If your family only eats frozen peas then that's good enough!
    5. Roast potatoes... Yes I par boil mine then roast them in goose fat but Aunt Bessie also does the same .
    6. Trimmings /Christmas pudding and the like.... Aldi or Lidl! (oh and while we're on the subject of pudding- if birds custard is what your family likes on the wretched thing then that's fine - you do not need brandy butter /rum sauce etc or anything else that costs a fecking fortune and takes 2 hours to make!)
    7. Family.... Children.. Feed the little blighters first separately, if they only want turkey with tomato sauce - fine leave em to it, it doesn't matter. Once they are fed bugger them off to play with their Christmas presents so that YOU can enjoy your dinner in Peace! Adults... Anyone that can manage to get their sorry **** to your dinner table is also capable of helping to serve up/ sort the kids out/ clear the table /wash up /dry up etc. And Finally..... NO ONE.... And I mean no one APART FROM THE COOK IS ALLOWED TO GET ****ED AND FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE WASHING UP IS DONE!!! Rant over Merry Christmas!pinched this from someone else
     
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  19. 25 Nov 2020 at 4:26 PM #19
    Derekh929

    Derekh929 Flexing a golden cincture

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    got a xmas card today and a load of rice fell out

    it was from uncle ben
     
  20. 25 Nov 2020 at 6:57 PM #20
    Derekh929

    Derekh929 Flexing a golden cincture

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    Why did Frosty ask for a divorce?
    His wife was a total flake

    How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
    Nothing. It was on the house!
     
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